Coven in Sunnydale
by ayshieka
Summary: Buffy and Spike are finally dating. Everything is going marvelously. Then some of Spike's old acquaintences pay a visit. Insanity and drunkenness ensue... *On Hiatus*
1. Serious Chapter

Disclaimer: I quite obviously do not own anything to do with Buffy. If I did, I wouldn't be living with my two annoying brothers. If you REALLY want to sue me, go ahead. I'm not stoping you. Do you seriously want all my pocket lint? (I know Marius would...)  
  
Summary: This takes place right after Buffy is brought back to life by Willow at the beginning of Season 6. It took Buffy dying to see how much she really did care for Spike. Well, they started having the beginning of a great relationship until a few of Spike's former acquaintences needed a place to crash...  
  
(In the back room of The Magic Box, where Buffy is training. No one is there except for Spike, who is watching her)  
  
Spike: Bloody hell, Slayer! What are you doing!?  
  
Buffy: (grunts while trying to lift a 600 pound barbell) I thought I told you not to bother me while I'm trying to train. It takes concentration, you know.  
  
Spike: Looks more like masochism than training.  
  
Buffy: I want to make sure no one I care about is going to get hurt if I can help it. If I hadn't sacrificed myself, Dawn would be dead. And, as long as I'm protecting my friends, I would be happy if I wasn't killed again.  
  
Spike: Didn't you go to heaven though?  
  
Buffy: Yeah, but it just wasn't the same as being on regular old Earth with all my friends. (Gives up on picking up the barbell and hangs it back on it's rack) Come on, Spike. Let's go home. I can't concentrate any more. Too much thinking about the past makes my head hurt.  
  
Spike: (raises eyebrow) Are you sure it isn't just my devilish handsomeness getting to you?  
  
Buffy: (rolls eyes) Oh, Spike. How do you always manage to see right through me?  
  
Spike: You forget you're talking to the Big Bad.  
  
Buffy: Of course. (She comes in for a passionate kiss, which ends about a minute later, seeing as how Buffy is human and still needs to breathe)  
  
(It is an uneventful ride home, with Spike driving and Buffy sleeping. Spike looks down on the sleeping Buffy and realizes how much better his life had been since she had admitted her feelings for him. On arriving at Buffy's house, Buffy wakes up.)  
  
Buffy: It's just you and me tonight Spike.  
  
Spike: You aren't one for subtlety, are you pet? And we're just supposed to forget Nibblet is also a resident of this house?  
  
Buffy: Mind in the gutter much? Anyway, Dawn is spending the night with Giles.  
  
Spike: Have you noticed an increase in owls around here?  
  
Buffy: (looks in nearby tree and sees twenty owls, hooting impatiently) Now that you mention it, I have. I've never heard of any owl-demons, so I think we're okay.  
  
Spike: Well, let's not waste all our bloody time chatting where the nasties can attack us.  
  
(They walk up to the door and Buffy opens it.)  
  
Spike: I'm starving, Slayer. Still got some blood around here?  
  
Buffy: If you mean the piggy kind. It should be in the kitch—(sees her living room filled with vampires).  
  
Spike: What the bloody hell are you all doing here?!  
  
Ooooooo. Cliffy. Sort of. You probably think I'm a horrible writer by now, but please review so I can know how much you hate me. This was my serious chapter. Things are about to get really weird, even considering all the things that happen on the Hellmouth. Who are these vampires? What do they want? How the heck did they get in without an invitation? Review please!  
  
-Ayshieka 


	2. The Mysterious Vampires are Unveiled!

Chapter 2  
  
Disclaimer: Same as Chapter 1.  
  
Summary: Spike and Buffy are finally going out and it seems that nothing can go wrong. But of course, I just jinxed it. The Coven of the Truly Bizarre have escaped from the Van Hellsing Institute (Draculena's fic) to wreak havoc on the Scooby Gang's lives. How long can they take it before they all go insane?  
  
(Buffy and Spike are standing in the doorway, staring at the vampires who have taken residence in Buffy's livingroom. Dracula is sitting in the armchair, looking very leader-ish, Carmilla and Louis are snuggling on the couch, unaware of anything that does not involve each other, Lestat and Radu are sitting on the loveseat, staring deeply into each other's eyes, Ruthven is sitting in an ordinary chair, surveying Buffy's and Spike's reaction, and Varney is sprawled on the floor, covered in belching white bunnies and giggling to himself. Spike steps forward and confronts Dracula.)  
  
Spike: What the bleedin' hell are you and your gang doing here? You still owe me money. I hope you didn't forget about that. You don't just barge into my love's home without a little warning.  
  
Buffy: That's right, you're Dracula. I've kicked your butt before. You wanna rematch? If you don't pay Spike, you're going to get one whether you like it or not.  
  
Dracula: (grumbles to himself) Fine. Here's the money (hands Spike a big wad of cash that was in his inside cape pocket). We were captured and forced to work in an organization, and we managed to escape (flashback to Varney conjuring huge flying bunnies and the coven stepping towards them cautiously). We would appreciate it if we would be allowed residence-  
  
Varney: You said we came here to look at their dentist chairs.  
  
Spike: (looks at Varney strangely and mutters something to himself which sounds suspiciously like 'disgrace') We're fresh out of dentist chairs. However, if you tried on the other side of the bloody planet, far away from us, they might have some.  
  
Varney: Really?  
  
Dracula: Enough of this nonsense. I've been very hospitable to you in the past. Is this any way to return a favor?  
  
Buffy: As I remember, you tried to turn me.  
  
Dracula: But of course. It was worth a try.  
  
Buffy: Okay. I'll let you and your crew take shelter here for a while. But there are a few conditions. First, no trying any of the weird magic stuff on me or my sister. If you do, your remains will be able to fit into a jelly jar. Understood?  
  
Dracula: Carmilla! Louis! Lestat! Radu! Show some manners! Pay attention! Lestat, what did Buffy just say?  
  
Lestat: (Breaks eye contact with Radu) Ummm...who's Buffy? Her? (points at Buffy)  
  
Dracula: (looks exasperated and on the breaking point) Yes. Do you see any other slayers in the room?  
  
Lestat: (asking Buffy) What kind of hair conditioner do you use? I find that Pantene Pro-V gives my hair the silky shine it-  
  
Dracula: (gets all red-eyed and scary) ENOUGH!!!!!! (Varney shrinks into corner, bunnies covering him) Now, what were the rest of your conditions? (Lestat looks up at the word 'conditions' because it sounds so much like 'conditioner')  
  
Buffy: Second, none of you are allowed to go into our private rooms without permission. Third, he (points at Varney) is not allowed to make any more bunnies appear. There would be a problem if one of the gang sees bunnies of any kind.  
  
Ruthven: Fair enough. (looks through window and sees owls) Say, Buffy. I've heard one of your friends is a witch. You think she knows any good spells for getting rid of owls?  
  
Spike: Now, be polite Ruthie. Don't go asking for favors. You're pushing it as it is.  
  
Ruthven: (growling, every word filled with mailce) Don't EVER call me RUTHIE.  
  
Spike: What're you going to do about it Ruthie?  
  
Radu: (taunting in singsong voice) Ruthie, Ruthie, Ruthie...  
  
Ruthven: Shut it, whore boy.  
  
Radu: (getting all teary-eyed) I am NOT a whore!  
  
Dracula: OKAY. I think we're all tired and need some sleep. Could you tell us which rooms are available for us to use?  
  
Buffy: You can use the living room and my mom's old bedroom. I think there's a cot in the basement, if you want to use that. Remember though: if you're planning any sinister lame-o plans, you're going to regret it.  
  
Spike: I don't think this group of neanderthals is capable of making a plan.  
  
Dracula: (looks at Spike darkly but controlls his anger) Thank you for your hospitality. Any one of us will be glad to do anything you want.  
  
Louis: Anything?  
  
Dracula: Yes.  
  
Buffy: Well, me and Spike are calling it a night. Don't destroy the house or you'll have Mr. Pointy to answer to. (With that, her and Spike leave for her bedroom, which they will be sharing.)  
  
Dracula: So, sleeping arrangements. Louis, Carmilla, you two sleep in the bedroom. (Lestat looks angry, but no one notices) Lestat, the couch. Radu, the loveseat. Ruthven, you'll get the armchair and Varney can use this sleeping bag and sleep on the floor.  
  
Varney: What sleeping bag?  
  
Dracula: (conjures big poofy sleeping bag out of thin air) This one.  
  
Ruthven: Where are you going to sleep?  
  
Dracula: In the basement. Behave.  
  
Ahhh. The insanity begins. If you haven't read "Blood Suckers Anonymous" and/or "Vampire Boot Camp" by Draculena, things may get a little confusing. I highly recommend them. My review box is feeling lonley and insecure. Cheer it up with a click or two. 


	3. S'more Omlet

Chapter 3  
  
Disclaimer: Same as chapter 1.  
  
Summary: Buffy has very graciously allowed the CotTB to stay in her house. How long will they be welcome? What will the other members of the Scooby Gang think of this arrangement? How is Spike dealing with all this? Suspense. It's killing you.  
  
(Spike and Buffy are sleeping in Buffy's queen sized bed. They are sleeping all snuggled up to each other. The sun is slowly creeping over the horizon. Someone forgot to close the curtains in Buffy's room though...)  
  
(A pale beam of sunlight sneaks it's way onto the back of Spike's hand.)  
  
Spike: (eyes open instantly when he feels the searing pain on his hand) Bloody hell! I forgot about the damn curtains! (Quickly closes curtains, avoiding any more lethal rays of light.) Better put some ice on this...it'll leave a mark, no doubt. Just my luck.  
  
(Down in the kitchen)  
  
Varney: (wandering around the kitchen, looking for ingredients) What were the ingredients again, Snorgo? Of course! How could I have forgotten the marshmallows? (Snorgo the rabbit is sitting contentedly on the kitchen counter gnawing on the chunk of chocolate Varney has found.)  
  
Varney: Now, was I supposed to put it in the oven or on the stove top? I think it's the stove. I can see it better that way.  
  
Spike: (walks in kitchen in search for ice) What the bleedin' hell are you doing?! Trying to burn my love's house down?!  
  
Varney: No, silly! I'm making a s'more omlet!  
  
Spike: A WHAT?  
  
Varney: (Points to the unappetizing glop with eggshells sticking out of it. The burner it's on is on high. It's starting to smoke slightly.) It's very easy. Just get the chocolate, graham crackers,-  
  
Spike: I don't want to know how to bloody make one! Just turn the stove off before you start a fire!  
  
Varney: Only YOU can prevent forest fires.  
  
Spike: Yes, yes. Very nice. (Takes frying pan full of glop and starts to feed it to Snorgo.)  
  
Varney: No! You can't feed that to Snorgo! It's bad for his heart!  
  
Spike: (Rolls eyes) Right. (He dumps the glop in the garbage disposal.)  
  
(Buffy chooses that moment to walk in the kitchen, looking for all the world like a zombie with a bad hair day.)  
  
Buffy: You'll have to yell at each other a little louder next time. I don't think the people ten miles away heard you.  
  
Spike: Mornin' to you too, Luv. Someone wake up on the wrong side of the bed?  
  
Buffy: (pouts) Yes. But you know they say a good kiss can fix anything...  
  
Spike: Indeed they do. (Buffy and Spike go in for a make-out session in the middle of the kitchen and Varney turns a delicate shade of green.)  
  
Varney: SO...anyone wanna s'more omlet?  
  
(Dawn suddenly bursts in the front door, slamming it cheerfully behind her. Buffy and Spike break up quickly.)  
  
Dawn: Good morning America! (notices Varney attempting to make another s'more omlet) Who is he and what is he cooking?  
  
Varney: Hi, I'm Varney and this is Snorgo. Wanna s'more omlet?  
  
Dawn: Gee. Um, no thanks.  
  
Buffy: See Dawnie, a few of Spike's old friends (when Buffy mentions 'friends', Spike chokes slightly) came by last night and they needed a place to crash for a while. I'm afraid the rest of them are still sleeping. I don't see how though. I didn't think anyone would still be asleep after Spike's little outburst this morning.  
  
Dawn: That's cool. I guess. Giles would have come in to say 'hi' and all, but he said he had to do some research about an upcoming apocolypse.  
  
Buffy: It must be Tuesday.  
  
Varney: Bad things always happen on Tuesdays.  
  
Dawn: You know, Anya better not see any of those bunnies. She'll totally freak on us. Her and Xander are coming over this evening. How many of Spike's friends are there? Are they all vampires?  
  
Buffy: Hmm...there are seven of them; all vampires.  
  
Spike: (While everyone's been talking, Spike finally gets some ice and puts it on his aching hand.) I'm going back to sleep. Wake me a t 7.  
  
Buffy: Can do. Sweet dreams, darling. (kisses him lightly on the lips)  
  
Spike: G'night.  
  
(It's now 7:30 pm. All the vampires are lounging in the living room. Except Lestat. He's still taking a shower. Dawn is talking animatedly to Dracula and Ruthven about something they don't care about, Carmilla and Louis are happily snuggling on the couch watching Hannibal, Buffy is chatting with Radu about the finer points of decapitation, and Varney is telling Spike about how wonderful it is to be around Ruthven.)  
  
Varney: And he NEVER loses a fight! Isn't that so cool? Ruthven could take on an entire army of rabbits. If he hurt them, I'd be very sad though. You should have seen the way he beat Radu the other day...  
  
Spike: (slowly dying of boredom) Uh huh... Right... Okay...  
  
(Anya and Xander burst through the door, head for the living room, start to say 'hi' to Buffy, then do a double-take.)  
  
Anya: What are these losers doing in your house Buffy? (eyes Varney warily, but he has no bunnies at the moment)  
  
Dawn: They're going to be staying with us for a while!  
  
Buffy: What she said.  
  
Xander: (looks at the array of vampires littering Buffy's living room and notices Dracula. Xander looks scared and angry at the same time) What's HE (points at Dracula) doing here? He tried to kill you, remember? Or did he do the weird mojo on you? Don't worry. Will is going to be here in a while. She'll take the spell off you.  
  
Buffy: I am NOT under any spell, Xander. This is just Buffy being nice and hospitable to vampires for once. They're perfectly harmless too. (All the vampires in the room look put out by this, but none comment.) They could even help us patrol!  
  
Anya: Well, are we going to be introduced or not?  
  
Spike: (points to each of them in turn) Ruthven. Dracula. Varney. Carmilla. Louis. Radu. (Notices that Lestat is missing.) We're missing one of them.  
  
(Lestat strolls into the living room, wearing all black leather. Even a leather cape for some reason. His hair is still slightly wet from the shower. You can see Radu drooling slightly. Lestat sees the drool running down Radu's chin, winks at him, and sits next to him and Buffy.)  
  
Spike: And this is Lestat.  
  
Xander: And how long will they be staying here?  
  
Dracula: We can't really tell. Seeing as how we've just escaped from an institute imprisioning us, we're not really sure if they're on our trail or not.  
  
Xander: They're fugitives! We should turn them in!  
  
Dracula: Your annoyingness greatly annoys me.  
  
Xander: Oh yeah? I think you want Mr.-  
  
(Willow walks in with a smile, sees Dracula and Xander ready to go at each other's throats, frowns, and stops dead in her tracks.)  
  
Willow: Am I missing something? (Looks at all the other vampire suspiciously.)  
  
Buffy: Long story.  
  
Spike: They need a place to crash.  
  
Buffy: Apparantly not that long. (Turns to Dracula) If you can't behave yourself around my friends, I think you'll find your invitation here short- lived.  
  
Radu: You got TOLD!  
  
(Dracula glares at Radu, does his little weird hand gesture, and makes Radu suddenly unconscious. Lestat pouts, but no one cares.)  
  
Dracula: I'm terribly sorry. I've been a little stressed lately.  
  
Willow: Like vampire PMS?  
  
Dracula: You could say that.  
  
Anya: So, what're we going to do?  
  
Carmilla: (Looks up and says first thing in my fic) Hannibal is on.  
  
(Everyone reading this: She talks!)  
  
Anya: I love Hannibal!  
  
Xander: Isn't seeing all that gore in everyday life enough for you?  
  
Anya: But Hannibal is so cunning and smart, unlike most of the things we fight. I mean, vampires and whiny hell gods? Please. (Anya plops down in front of the tv screen and watches avidly. Xander joins her.)  
  
Buffy: I guess I'll go get the popcorn.  
  
Willow: I'll go with you.  
  
(Buffy and Willow head to the kitchen for popcorn.)  
  
(Lestat is trying to wake up Radu, but to no avail.)  
  
Dracula: He's going to be like that for a while, Lestat. Might as well start chasing after Louis again. (Lestat eyes Louis seductively.)  
  
Dawn: (to Lestat) You're GAY!?  
  
Lestat: No, I'm French. There's a difference.  
  
Dawn: Oh. Okay.  
  
Lestat: But Radu is gay. Or bisexual. Either one. He's not French. He's also a whore, but you'd better not mention that around him. He has a very bad case of denial.  
  
Dawn: Oh. Okay.  
  
Spike: Now Lestat, do you really need to be tellin' Bit about all that? I don't think it's necessary.  
  
Lestat: I do. We ARE living with her now.  
  
Spike: I need a drink. Too bad Buffy threw out all my brandy.  
  
Dracula: (conjures an expensive-looking wine) Will this do?  
  
Spike: (takes the wine and pours some into one of the glasses Dracula has also conjured) It's fine.  
  
Anya: (looks away from tv screen) You know that Buffy doesn't like you drinking.  
  
Carmilla: Speaking of drinking, do you have any blood around here?  
  
Spike: Only pig's blood. If you drink any human blood around here, Buffy won't be pleased. And you don't want to fight an unhappy Slayer, trust me.  
  
Dracula: I know that from experience. It was extremely embarassing.  
  
Spike: So, who's for pig's blood? (Sees that Louis is the only one who raises his hand.) Okay, then. No one else?  
  
Dracula: If I can't feed here, I'll just have to go elsewhere. Who's with me? (Dracula heads towards the door and Carmilla, Lestat, and Ruthven follow him.) We'll be back before sunrise.  
  
Spike: What about you Varney? Pig's blood?  
  
Varney: No, I'd like a mango.  
  
Louis: Since when have you liked mangoes?  
  
Varney: Since I saw one on a commerical. Maybe it was an apricot.  
  
Spike: I give up. One pig's blood and one mango, coming up.  
  
Who is torturing who now? Buffy has set up some demanding rules for her new residents, but she is starting to feel burdened with their extreme randomness and stupidity. Which group will crack first? Giles has yet to meet these new arrivals. What will he think of them? Will he think that Buffy has completely lost it? You'll find out eventually. My review button is on Prozac now, but is still depressed. I'm sure if you clicked on it a bit, it would feel a little happier. After all, no one likes a depressed review button.  
  
-Ayshieka 


	4. Apocolypse

Chapter 4  
  
Disclaimer: If you really want one, go to chapter 1.  
  
Summary: Most of the Scooby Gang has met the Coven of the Truly Bizarre. (I'm leaving Tara out of this fic because I never liked her to begin with.) They think Buffy is crazy to be sheltering these maniacs, but it's her house. What will Giles think of the coven? You'll find out. What sort of apocolypse are they facing? You'll find out.  
  
(It is another night in the now crazy Buffy household. The Scooby Gang, minus Giles, and the coven, minus Lestat, are all in the living room. As you can imagine, it's getting pretty crowded. Radu, Dracula, Spike, and Carmilla are playing Lord of the Fangs Monopoly. Louis is watching them. Xander and Ruthven are playing Connect Four. Varney is watching the weird mango/apricot commercial. Buffy, Anya, Willow, and Dawn are talking about girly stuff and giggling. )  
  
Carmilla: (looks at her heaping stack of fake cash and then looks at the non-existant money piles of the other players) I guess I win again boys.  
  
Spike: You were cheating!  
  
Carmilla: If you think that having a high IQ is cheating, I suppose you're right.  
  
Radu: You got TOLD!  
  
(Dracula rolls his eyes and once again does his little weird hand gesture, making Radu instantly unconscious.)  
  
Spike: (Doesn't notice that Dracula is the one who made Radu pass out.) Does that happen every time he says that?  
  
Dracula: Just about.  
  
Varney: MANGOES! (Starts rolling on the floor, giggling insanely. He accidentally makes a few bunnies appear, which is a bad idea.)  
  
Anya: (Gives her most piercing scream.) BUNNIES! (She makes a mad dash for the stairs, knocking down everyone in her path, which include Carmilla, Buffy, and Ruthven. You can hear her screaming from the second story.)  
  
(Upon hearing the screaming, one of Buffy's neighbors calls the police, believing somebody is being murdered.)  
  
Varney: (Now huddling behind the couch, protectively in front of his bunnies.) Was it something I said?  
  
Carmilla: (Sits beside Varney and pats him on the back soothingly.) No, no, darling. It wasn't anything you said. She just doesn't like bunnies much...  
  
Varney: But how can ANYONE not like bunnies?  
  
Carmilla: Well, you'll just have to ask her.  
  
(Lestat walks into the living room. You can tell he's spent a lot of time carefully grooming himself.)  
  
Lestat: Who died?  
  
Xander: (Suddenly stands up.) I'll go see how she's doing. (Gives Varney a dirty glare. Varney whimpers. Carmilla gives Xander an evil glare. Xander quickly goes upstairs.)  
  
Dracula: It seems that one of Buffy's friends doesn't like bunnies much.  
  
Lestat: Oh. (Notices Radu lying on the floor.) Again?  
  
Dracula: He WAS getting annoying again.  
  
Ruthven: I hope she doesn't feel the same way about owls. (Several owls are sitting on the branch right outside the living room window.) I think I'll take a walk outside. (Ruthven leaves.)  
  
Spike: I still think she was cheating.  
  
(Blank looks from everyone.)  
  
Spike: Nevermind. I think I'll go patrolling. Anyone with me?  
  
Varney: OOOH! OOOH! I'll go!  
  
Spike: (sighs) Okay. Buffy, you coming?  
  
Buffy: Like I'd trust all these vampires here not to destroy the house.  
  
Spike: Good point. See you later then, pet. (They kiss intensely, everyone looks away, embarassed. Except for Carmilla and Louis. They have their own lip-lock going on. Lestat fumes.)  
  
(Spike and Varney walk outside, Varney chatting the whole time about a plan he has to catch vampires. Spike suddenly motions for him to be quiet.)  
  
Unknown Voice: Does Fluffy want a nice mousey? Come on. Come here, Fluffy wuffy woo. That's it. Aren't you the pretty one? Yes you are...  
  
(Spike and Varney creep around the corner, to find the owner of the mysterious voice.)  
  
Spike: Ruthven! What are you DOING!?  
  
Ruthven: (Quickly backs away from the owls he had been talking to.) Me? I wasn't doing anything. Just standing here. Not doing anything.  
  
Varney: Don't worry Spike. He was only talking to his owls again. He always talks to them when he thinks no one's looking. I don't see why though. An animal friend is just fine!  
  
Ruthven: Thanks a bunch, Varney. Just ruin my dignity.  
  
Varney: You're welcome.  
  
Spike: Whatever floats your boat. Come on, Varney. We have some evil nasties to take care of. Leave Ruthie to talk to his 'animal friends.'  
  
(As Spike and Varney are walking away, they see several police cruisers pull up to the Summers' house, sirens and lights on.)  
  
Spike: Buffy'll be able to take care of it. We'd only get in the way.  
  
(Half an hour later, Spike and Varney are looking extremely stupid sitting behind a booth that says 'free bunniez.' There are about a dozen fat rabbits lying on the counter of the booth. The booth is in the middle of one of Sunnydale's cemeteries.)  
  
Spike: Why did I even bother to listen to your soddin' plan? I'm being reduced to your level.  
  
Varney: Bunnies! Bunnies for sale! Get your free bunny here!  
  
(A few newly-risen vampires walk uncertainly up to the booth.)  
  
Random Vampire #1: Do they have good blood?  
  
Varney: All my bunnies have the purestest blood you'll find anywhere.  
  
Random Vampire #2: We hear the Slayer lives here. We need a quick bite before we kill her.  
  
Varney: Bunny blood even makes your bones stronger. Sort of like that white stuff.  
  
(While Varney has been talking to the Random Vampires, Spike has snuck up behind them. He now dusts them without a second thought.)  
  
Spike: I guess your idea is better than I thought it was.  
  
Varney: (Giggles for a moment.) Those vampires weren't very smart, were they? They wanted to kill a Slayer! If you're a Slayer, you're supposed to slay things, not be slayed.  
  
Spike: Right.  
  
(Spike and Varney continue to sit at the booth for another hour, killing several vampires and demons.)  
  
Spike: I think we'd best be heading home. Check to see how Buffy's doing and all.  
  
Varney: Okay.  
  
(When Spike and Varney get home, they find the house in an uproar. The entire coven is standing behind Buffy while Giles is yelling at her.)  
  
Giles: You've really gone too far this time Buffy! I can deal with Spike living with you. He's only one vampire. But seven more of them! Why did you even invite them in in the first place?  
  
Buffy: Giles, these are a different type of vampire. They don't need to be invited in a home. They just barged on in while I was gone.  
  
Giles: Are you trying to get killed again Buffy?  
  
(Buffy's eyes start to tear up. Spike steps in.)  
  
Spike: Giles, old mate, this is Buffy's house. If she wants to shelter some pathetic, worthless vampires (all the vampires glare at him) that's her affair, isn't it? No harm will come of her or Bit.  
  
Xander: You have to admit, Captain Peroxide has a point. They do seem to be a few corndogs short of a picnic. We're here if anything happens.  
  
Giles: I suppose you are right. I'm sorry Buffy. This just took me completely by surprise. I've been researching a prophesy about an upcoming apocolypse, and I'm afraid you have fulfilled it by letting these vampires reside in your house.  
  
Varney: We're all going to DIE?!  
  
Giles: I see what you mean, Xander.  
  
Carmilla: Varney, it's been a long night. Maybe you should just rest on the couch. (Turns toward everyone else.) Louis and I are going to take a look around the town. We'll be back before sunrise. Maybe.  
  
(Louis and Carmilla leave the house and walk to the local YMCA, where they break in and lounge in the public hot tub. Carmilla has managed to find rose petals, and she sprinkles them in the water. Some R rated things happen, so we won't go into any of that.)  
  
Spike: So, are you gonna tell us about this end of the world, or do we have to guess?  
  
Giles: I was getting there. The prophesy very basically says that the Slayer will become more lenient towards a group of vampires, and a newly- risen fledgling will destroy the world.  
  
Dracula: A newly-risen fledgling? That's impossible.  
  
Buffy: Stranger things have happened.  
  
Spike: Like Ruthie baby talking to his owls.  
  
Ruthven: I was not! I told you I wasn't doing anything!  
  
Spike: Denial isn't a river in Egypt, you know.  
  
Ruthven: You should try telling that to our favorite unconscious friend over there (looks at Radu in disgust).  
  
Dracula: When you two have stopped bickering, I think we have a slightly more important matter to discuss...  
  
Giles: Yes. Right. The prophesy also mentions that at least one of the members of your coven knows this fledgling. (Pauses and looks over at the Scoobies) You five have been awfully quiet.  
  
Dawn: We're getting into research mode. (All of them are mentally snickering. They have been mimicing Giles with wild hand gestures while he wasn't looking.)  
  
Anya: Are you almost done? I would like to go and have sex with Xander to forget about the evil bunnies.  
  
Xander: (looks embarassed) Anya, how many times have I told you that you just don't say some things?  
  
Anya: I don't remember, but you say it a lot. Come on, let's go.  
  
Xander: I'll see you tomorrow, Buffy.  
  
(Xander and Anya leave. Giles, having nothing else to say, bids them all a goodnight and also leaves.)  
  
Willow: Well, we've certainly had an interesting night. I thought Giles was going to explode when he saw all the vampires not being staked in here.  
  
Spike: Why did the police come?  
  
Buffy: One of our neighbors heard Anya screaming bloody murder and thought someone was trying to kill her, so they called the police.  
  
Dawn: It was great! They came all barging in and everything. We tried to make the coven look normal, but let me just say it's a good thing we live on the hellmouth.  
  
Willow: So, what are we gonna do about the apocolypse?  
  
Buffy: We'll have to find out more first.  
  
The end of another bizarre chapter! A fledgling causing an apocolypse? Who could it be? One or several members know this new vampire. Stay tuned to find out! It seems that the CotTB and the Scoobies are getting along a little better, but is that just an illusion? Remember, only YOU (and all the other people) can prevent depressed review buttons!  
  
-Ayshieka 


	5. Tangent Attack!

Chapter 5  
  
Disclaimer: I've all ready written one. If you're too lazy to go back to the first chapter to read it, you can sue me. You won't get anything. Marius stole my pocket lint.  
  
Summary: Things have been really wacky and crazy since Buffy allowed the Coven of the Truly Bizarre to temporarily reside in her house. Giles has just informed them that there is an upcoming apocalypse that will be caused by a fledgling vampire. You ask, how can this happen? A visitor comes and gives them more information on the subject.  
  
(Buffy has allowed the Coven to patrol with her and Spike, against her better judgment. Louis and Carmilla stayed home with Dawn, so therefore Lestat is pouting. Radu is trying to get Lestat to notice him. Varney is busy playing peek-a-boo with Ruthven, who doesn't even notice because he's too busy petting an owl he has under his coat. Dracula, Spike, and Buffy are the only ones even attempting to kill any demons, but they're not getting anywhere because of all the noise Varney is making. There is a rustle from behind a bush.)  
  
Buffy: (Whispers to Spike) There's one over there. I can feel it.  
  
Spike: (Whispers back) Well, luv, what are we waiting for?  
  
Dracula: William, my friend, she is obviously waiting for the right moment.  
  
Spike: Gee, thanks. I can never tell what my Slayer is thinking. (whispers) Bloody fool couldn't even get Mina.  
  
Dracula: (Tries very hard to retain his dignity) I'll have you know that Dorian gave her a love potion, so she fell in love with him.  
  
Spike: (turns to Buffy) Luv, remind me to never try to turn into a bat. Apparently it lowers your sex appeal.  
  
(Dracula loses the dignity he thinks he possesses and is about to turn Spike into a naked mole rat when Marius steps out from behind the big bush.)  
  
Lestat: (assuming he's done something wrong) How did you find me?  
  
Marius: I've always known where you are. I made you. (A/N: Sorry everybody; I just had to put that in.)  
  
Lestat: Liar! You didn't make me!  
  
Marius: Quite obviously. I never would have made you, but they couldn't have too many characters in the movie, so Magnus doesn't exist. Everyone would have been confused. Trust me, I don't like it any better than you do.  
  
Lestat: As long as we're clear on that then.  
  
(Varney, who gave up his game of peek-a-boo when Ruthven gave him a s'more, started cleaning out his pockets on the ground. Naturally, there was a lot of pocket lint.)  
  
Marius: (Notices what Varney has been doing) What are you DOING?! (Rushes to pick up all the pocket lint) Don't you know how important it is for a vampire to own an excessive amount of pocket lint?  
  
(Varney gives Marius the look a confused howler monkey would give a shaving gorilla.)  
  
Marius: I'll just have to tell you then. (Marius goes off on a three hour tangent, which makes everyone fall asleep, naturally. When he finishes, they all wake up to find themselves lying in their own personal pool of drool.)  
  
Marius: So THAT is why you must never throw out your pocket lint ever again. Especially you, Lestat.  
  
Lestat: (Rubs his eyes) Wha-? Huh? Oh, right. Of course. I'll never use your hair brush again, I swear.  
  
Marius: I should have expected for no one to really understand the importance of this. When you come to me begging for me to repeat this to you, just see if I help.  
  
Dracula: Stop being so dramatic. Of course we were listening. Weren't we? (Gives the rest of the Coven a look that says 'if you don't agree with me, I'll force raw liver and mold down your throat for a hundred years')  
  
All the Coven except Varney: Yes.  
  
Varney: I wasn't! It was boring.  
  
Marius: (Watches Dracula advance toward Varney, eyes glowing red, and decides to change the subject) SO, I'm assuming you've heard of this fledgling apocalypse?  
  
Buffy: You mean it's true?  
  
Spike: And here I was, thinking Giles had read his tea leaves wrong.  
  
Marius: He reads tea leaves? I find that to be a most interesting subject. A little difficult, but interesting. Now, vampires rarely take up the art of deciphering tea leaves...(goes off on a two and a half hour tangent. The group resumes their drooling.)  
  
Dracula: (interrupts Marius) A most intriguing subject, I'm sure. I'm afraid we're more concerned with apocalypses at the moment though. (Whispers to Ruthven) Aren't we?  
  
Ruthven: (pulls out a list from his cloak pocket) Hmmm...ah, here it is. 'Things to Ponder on When Not Cleaning Out Excess Earwax'. Number 2 on the list is, 'fledgling apocalypse'. Number 4,684 on the list is, 'listening to a tangent about the importance of vampires reading tea leaves'.  
  
Dracula: Well, there you have it, Marius. So, what's this fledgling's name?  
  
Marius: I believe she mentioned that she knew some of you...  
  
Radu: She?  
  
Marius: Do any of you remember Cindy?  
  
Lestat: Cindy!?  
  
Varney: Marshmallows!?  
  
Dracula: It must be a different Cindy. The Cindy we know is dumber than Lestat. She probably hasn't even realized we don't go to the weekly meetings any more...  
  
Marius: I'm almost positive we're talking about the same person, or vampire.  
  
Lestat: Mon dieu, she's a vampire? We're doomed!  
  
Marius: It appears that we really are. Believe it or not, soon after all her members of Blood Suckers Anonymous were taken away by the Van Hellsing Institute, she managed to find me. She needed consolation, so I...lectured her on the importance of pocket lint.  
  
Dracula: You did WHAT?!  
  
Marius: See, she took things a little more literally than I supposed she would...  
  
Ruthven: Of course she did! She's stupider than, than...a retarded monarch butterfly in South America!  
  
Radu: Right.  
  
Dracula: As Secondary Coven Master, you must retain your dignity and refrain from making weird and obnoxious comments.  
  
Radu: You got TOLD! Oops.  
  
(Dracula does his weird hand gesture and Radu, once again, passes out. Since the whole group has been slowly walking back to Buffy's house the whole time, Dracula considers making Radu hover all the way home, but decides not to. Lestat considers carrying Radu all the way home, but decides not to.)  
  
Dracula: Cindy, of all the people...  
  
Marius: Her ideas were very intriguing. She was so charming, like Pandora. I just had to change her. You know, I'm starting to think that was a mistake.  
  
Varney: (walks up to Marius with innocent eyes and starts talking like Oliver Twist) Please Sir, can I have s'more?  
  
Marius: Fine. Here. It was my last one. (pouts)  
  
Buffy: Well, this has been...interesting. I haven't had so many vampires around me and not wanting to kill me in a long time. (Looks at imaginary watch.) Just look at the time! Almost sunrise! Looks like you'd better go, Marius. Wouldn't want you to get fried or anything like that, would we?  
  
Spike: I would love for him to get fri-ow! Bleedin' hell, Slayer! What was that for?  
  
(Buffy gives him The Look.)  
  
(Louis and Carmilla go outside to see what all the fuss is about and see everyone on the lawn. They look at Marius in confusion.)  
  
Carmilla: Did we miss anything?  
  
Marius: (Opens mouth in standard tangent position. Dracula interrupts.)  
  
Dracula: No, nothing at all. Everything is just fine. Well Marius, don't let us keep you.  
  
(Marius, still pouting, flies away in a swirl of red velvet.)  
  
Dawn: (walks out on porch) Anyone wanna play Monopoly?  
  
Okey dokey then. Marius has informed the Coven, Buffy, and Spike of who the fledgling is. Cindy? The Legally-Blonde-Reese-Witherspoon look-alike? I must have lost my mind. (Goes outside and searches for mind. "mind, mind, where are you?") I must have lost it in Florida. Buffy and Spike have no idea who Cindy is, but they get the general idea. What will they do about it? Does Giles really read tea leaves? Is this the last we will see of Marius? Are you tired of me asking all these dumb rhetorical question thingys? Stay tuned to find out! By the way, thanks to all my wonderful reviewers. The review button therapist is seeing improvements, but it's not over its depression yet. Every little bit counts! 


	6. Insert Snarky Surprising Chapter Title H...

Chapter 6  
  
Disclaimer: I own NOTHING to do with any of the characters in my fanfic. I own no references I make, however obscure they may be. I stole the Coven from Draculena. If you want to know who the heck some of these characters are, I suggest you read Blood Suckers Anonymous by Draculena. Are you happy? You'd better be.  
  
Summary: Marius paid a little visit to the Coven, Buffy, and Spike and informed them that the fledgling vampire is Cindy. What was Marius thinking, making that poor, misguided blonde a vampire? I have no clue. Everyone makes plans on how to avert the apocalypse. Will their plans be hindered by Cindy's presence? Will Cindy even be in this chapter? I know, I know, stop with all the stupid questions already and get on with the stupid story.  
  
(We come back to the Summers house, at the time we left off on the last time I updated. The Coven, Buffy, Spike, and Dawn are standing outside the house. Xander and Willow are inside, playing Monopoly. Marius has just left. Another tangent was barely averted. Giles is at his house doing what Giles does when he is not researching; in other words, sleeping.) Buffy: (talking about Marius) Is he always like that?  
  
Lestat: Let's not even start that discussion, cherie.  
  
Louis: I think we did miss something.  
  
Buffy: Dawnie, we gotta save the world again.  
  
Dawn: Do we hafta?  
  
Dracula: Can we go inside? These owls of Ruthven's are getting a bit creepy. shot of owls rubbing against Dracula's leg and making an owl-like purr  
  
Spike: Good idea.  
  
Carmilla: Umm...Rivvie? I believe a moth is trying to bite you.  
  
Varney: RABID MOTH!  
  
Ruthven: Ahhh! Get it off me! Get it off me!  
  
(Suddenly, a Squirrel of Dorian, seeing Ruthven in trouble, rushes in the scene and chatters furiously. Rabid moth panics and flies away. A/N: Hi Draculena!)  
  
Buffy: I think there's this big question mark over my head...   
  
Varney: Well, Ruthven'stwinisDorianGrayandsomehowhehasasquirrelorsomethingwhichreallydoesn 'tlikerabidmothsanditsavesruthvenwhenhe'slosingafightwhichneverevereverhappe nsanywaybutthesquirrelofdorianismostcommonlyfoundamongtherabidmoths. (takes deep breath)  
  
Spike: Right.  
  
Buffy: Okay.  
  
Dawn: Huh?  
  
Carmilla: Oh Louie, Ruthven was just saved! How about a victory kiss?  
  
Louis: Uh, okay.  
  
(Carmilla and Louis start kissing, which quickly progresses to more than that. The Coven is properly annoyed and disgusted.)  
  
Dracula: Come now, Carmilla and Louis, you can't be doing that in the middle of the lawn. What will the neighbors think?  
  
Lestat: Carmilla dear, you are most certainly a whore.  
  
Radu: (suddenly and unexpectedly wakes up from unconsciousness) I am NOT a WHORE! (Dracula, not bothering to use his little hand gesture to restore Radu's unconsciousness, grabs an owl off his arm and merely whacks him over the head with it, which has the same effect as the little hand gesture.)  
  
Buffy: You know what? I've had it! Willow? Can you take away their invitations?  
  
Willow: (who has just showed up on doorstep) No problem.  
  
Dracula: Where do you propose we stay then?  
  
Varney: We're orphans!  
  
Carmilla: There, there Varney. It's okay...  
  
Varney: (tears fill up his eyes) N-n-no one l-likes u-u-u-us!  
  
Buffy: (feels sorry for the Coven) Willow, never mind. I suppose they can stay. (Spike's feeling of elation instantly disappears) But if they push me too far again...  
  
Varney: Slayer on the edge!  
  
Buffy: Something like that.  
  
Willow: Spike, I taped Passions today for you. Do you wanna watch it?  
  
Ruthven: (whispers to Lestat) He watches Passions? How demasculinating.  
  
Spike: I could say the same about your soddin' owl lovers.  
  
Xander: Why are we standing outside?  
  
Dracula: (ignores Xander's question) Coven, inside.  
  
(The coven and the scoobies go back into the Summer residence, and Buffy, in her own little world, fails to notice Random Ordinary Guy #3 get drained by a vampire right across the street. Sorry Buffy, you just can't save everyone.)  
  
Willow: Drinks, anyone?  
  
Spike: Scotch.  
  
Buffy: Scotch!? I told you, no more alcohol! It's bad for you!  
  
Spike: Um, evil undead here. I'm pretty sure I stopped losing brain cells when I died, Luv. No harm done.  
  
Carmilla: (looks pointedly at Lestat) You'd be surprised.   
  
Louis: No, he's always been like that. I asked Gabrielle. Actually, she said he was the only one who understood her. I just used context clues, seeing as how she was painting her nails and plucking her eyebrows at the time. Then she wouldn't give me a poodle so I burned her house down.   
  
Lestat: I'm offended!   
  
Radu: (who has suddenly waken up) No need to be offended, dear. Can I borrow your eyeliner?   
  
Lestat: (stands up, looking mortally offended) Is that what everyone thinks I'm good for? My eyeliner supply? I've killed eight wolves before!   
  
Spike: (whispers to Buffy) Wanker probably killed them with his abuse of perfume.   
  
Buffy: Spike! That's mean!   
  
Spike: (smirks) You love it. (they begin their own make-out-a-thon)   
  
Dawn: That is so disgusting! I feel unloved! I'm gonna go steal some stuff now so someone will notice me.   
  
(Dawn and Lestat leave the group and end up having a gossip party, which can only end up in a catfight with one of the other coven members.)   
  
(The Coven and Scoobies hear knocking.)   
  
Unknown Person: Like hello? Is like, anyone home?   
  
(Spike smirks and gives everyone a look that says 'I'll go answer the door and see what the ditz wants. Also, I'll drink scotch whenever I bloody feel like it!' He goes over and opens the door.)   
  
Unknown Person: I was wondering if like, Lestat was here. Like, aren't you gonna invite me in?   
  
Spike: Who the bloody hell are you?!   
  
Unknown Person: Everyone calls me Cindy. Lestat calls me Sugar Plum. Louie calls me Poodle.   
  
Coven: Cindy?   
  
Cindy: Hey you guys! I've really missed you! (Notices the Scoobies) Hello!   
  
Buffy: You must be joking.   
  
Cindy: Who told a joke? (Looks confused for all of two seconds, then forgets and resumes her blissfully ditzy look.)   
  
Cindy: Listen, you guys. I don't have a lot of time. I'm trying to destroy the world. I'll spare everyone here if you give me all your fingernail polish and eyeliner.  
  
Spike: How exactly are you planning on destroying the world? I would go on my speech of how I love the world with all it's happy meals on legs, but I'll spare you.  
  
Cindy: Like, it's a big secret Marius told me. Marius is SO smart! He told me about this one place where I can get discount red velvet. Totally!  
  
Dracula: Why did Marius change you?  
  
Cindy: Well, he told me, but he just went on and on, you know? Something about the greater powers of crayons, I think. Like I said, he is so totally smart!  
  
Willow: This is sort of cute. Reminds me of Glory. And Harmony. Maybe Cindy is her little not-so-smart-or-evil sister.  
  
Buffy: Cute. I feel sorry for her. She makes a real nontraditional vampire, if you follow me.  
  
Cindy: Like, I have to go now! I have to start gathering my minions. Hey, any of you wanna be minions? I can give you a totally awesome price on Gucci merchandise!  
  
Carmilla: Really?  
  
Cindy: No, it's just the line I'm using to recruit minions. It's really good, isn't it? Well, I like gotta go now guys! You should really start going back to that little group! The cutest little elves are running it now! (Cindy leaves. Varney wakes up from his nap that he took a while ago and starts smiling.)  
  
Buffy: Was she like that as a human?  
  
Ruthven: Worse. I wonder if she drinks blood...  
  
Dracula: That is a most intriguing thought. How does she seduce them?  
  
Xander: That was Cindy? What a hottie!  
  
(Everyone looks at him like his nose hair instantly grew really really long.)  
  
Xander: I mean, what a ditz?   
  
Spike: Better be glad your little vengeance demon isn't here.  
  
Xander: Shut it, Peroxide.  
  
Spike: Where's the bloody Scotch?  
  
Well, this was a short chapter, wasn't it? Oh well. I tried to make it longer, but it honestly wasn't going anywhere good. Yup, Cindy has arrived in SunnyD. How is she planning on taking over the world? Will her minions get a discount on Gucci merchandise? I promised I'd stop with the rhetorical questions, but I'm addicted. Thanks to my reviewers! My story needs reviews like bats need wings. 


	7. Red Velvet Uniform

Summary: Last time I updated, Cindy finally made an appearance! Were the Scoobies impressed? Do you think she has any potential for causing an apocalypse? Will Cindy's minions get a discount on Gucci merchandise? Read and find all the answers you seek!

Chapter 7

(A week has passed since Cindy arrived at Buffy's house. Cindy is recruiting minions in her 'lair', which happens to be sickeningly pink and fluffy. How she managed to pull this off in a slimy underground cave, I suppose we'll never know.)

Cindy: (looking around at the various assortment of humans, vampires, and demons gathered in 'the evil lair in which Cindy will recruit her minions.' At least, that's what the sign on the entrance said.) Like, I'm so totally glad all of you could make it tonight! You may be asking, 'like, why did I come here?' and the answer you told yourself was, 'pass up a discount on Gucci merchandise? Like, no way!'. Well, my fellow fashion fiends (Cindy fails to notice that the majority of the minions are wearing motorcycle leather gear or tattered rags), I'm like so totally devastated to tell you that I was like lying when I said that! Wasn't that so totally evil of me! Like, no worries though! My totally awesome hero and role model has provided you with red velvet uniforms!

(Cindy shows the crowd assembled a uniform, in red velvet of course. On the left breast of each uniform 'Cindy's minion' is embroidered in pink thread. In smaller black thread the words 'if found, please return' can be found. I'll leave the actual design of the uniform to the reader's imagination. I'm sure that whatever's in your mind is probably as horrible as it's meant to be.)

Minion #1: Pretty colors.

Cindy: Like, of course! I can't have my most favoritest minions looking like they totally walked out of last month's _Vogue_!

Minion #2: (an ugly spiny-headed demon) Hey look lady, I'm just in it for the mass mayhem and destruction. Ya got any of that all planned out for us, sweetie pie?

Cindy: (gives Minion #2 a surprisingly evil glare) I wasn't like born yesterday, you know. Of course I have a plan! It's, like, much better than that everyday 'let's like have a sacred ritual and kill a couple fashion victims'. I'm totally for world domination!

Minion #3: (looks like Frankenstein's larger sibling) Why you take over world?

Cindy: Like, what kind of question is that? I wasn't loved enough as a child. That's totally every bad guy's excuse. Any minion of mine should know better.

Minion #2: Okay, lady. Ya got a plan. Mind lettin' us in on the scoop?

Cindy: Like, stop being so impatient! If, like, there aren't any more questions, I'd like you to meet my #1 fan!

(Marius appears on stage, in all his red velvet glory. However, he doesn't notice the strategically placed cute fluffy dog and ends up falling flat on his face. He gets up almost instantly and pretends it didn't happen.)

Marius: Cindy dear, I have asked you not to refer to me as such.

Cindy: Like, okey-day!

Marius: (scans the crowd of minions) You have all come here tonight for one purpose, to maim and destroy. If that is not the case, you probably came to the wrong pink and fluffy cave. (A few elves in the back talk amongst themselves and mutter things like, 'that explains things' and 'didn't look like a Prozac giveaway' before leaving.) I want to dissuade you from this scheme, and-

(There are blank looks all around the room. It seems that Marius has gone over their heads…)

Marius: (notices the blank stares) What I mean to say is, killing is bad. Only kill the evil-doer is what someone wise once told me, and that was the beginning of my teachings on the subject of lint. It seems that lint has many purposes, whether you want to…(at this point everything in the 'lair' has fallen into a coma-like sleep. Marius, as always, is oblivious.)

(Two hours later…)

Marius: …which is what to do with lint if you ever find yourself in a hot air balloon 25,812 feet above ground level with a hungry tiger and a stainless steel spoon. Now, if you happen to have a fork…

(Four hours later…)

Marius: …and lint is a surprisingly good aphrodisiac, if used correctly, and-(looks at watch) my! Where _has_ the time gone? It's almost sunrise! I must bid all of you farewell, and goodnight! (Marius leaves, presumably to his daytime sleeping place.)

(Cindy and the minions wake up, each in their own respective pool of drool.)

Cindy: (looks at all the minions) Like, you're still here? Stop, like, over-staying your welcome! Leave already!

Minion #3: What about-

Cindy: Just go! And, like, don't forget your uniforms on the way out!

(The minions leave, wiping the drool off their faces on the way out. The vampires, being the not-so-intelligent minions they are, walk right outside into the sunrise and explode into dust. How unfortunate.)

(Meanwhile at the Summers' residence…)

Buffy: Haven't heard much about that blonde ditz lately. Wonder what she's up to?

Spike: Well, there's not much we can do, luv. She's not in any of the bloody prophecies, so it looks like the chit is gonna have to make the first move.

Varney: Anyone wanna s'more omlet?

A/N: Here is the much awaited for update! Let's just ignore the fact that I've been too lazy to update for over a year. It's not nearly as long as I was hoping for it to be, but you can't have everything, I suppose. The Scoobies and the Coven will have a bigger part in chapters to come! Reviews make me very happy and constructive criticism is appreciated! My muse thanks you!

Spike (aka Muse)- I bloody well do not thank any of these wankers.

Ayshieka- You'll start thanking them if you value your un-life.

Spike- (gulp) Thanks.

Ayshieka- That wasn't so hard now, was it?


End file.
